Steampunk Vampires Series – Interview with Samuel Quartermaine

Steampunk Vampires Series – Interview with Samuel Quartermaine

We’re back with the second installment of the Steampunk Vampires Interview series. The poor interviewer has a seeping bandage over their neck and a scowl upon their face, and Samuel Quartermaine, the half-ling, is up next.

Interview Series Samuel Quartermaine

Quartermaine: What happened to your neck?

Interviewer: . . . you’re not a vampire, are you? Because I had an issue with the last one. I told the network I refuse to do anymore interviews with vampires. You kind of look like one, all waxy and pale . . ..

Quartermaine: Well, technically I’m not. I’m a –  hey wait, where are you going?

Interview: Don’t come near me, get away, bloodsucking coffin-dodger!

Quartermaine: I just told you. I’m not a vampire and I take offense at your ‘waxy’ description.

Interviewer: If the shoe fits.

Quartermaine: What’s this about shoes, now?

Interviewer: Nothing. So what are you then?

Quartermaine: I’m a dhamphyr.

Interviewer: God bless you.

Quartermaine: No, thank you, I don’t need a tissue. I’m a dhamphyr; a half-vampire, half-human hybrid.

Interviewer: Oh. Never heard of it. How did that happen? Were you turned like a vampire? Does the sun bother you?

Quartermaine: Please close the blinds. The sun only bothers me if I haven’t fed, but otherwise, I can go out in the daytime. And I was, sort of, turned.

Interviewer: Are you immortal?

Quartermaine: Technically, no. Dhamphyrs just age very, very slowly. We can prolong our lifespan by frequent feeding, but it is not necessary for survival, only for staving off the effects of aging and for strength.

Interviewer: Feeding? So you are a bloodsucking, coffin-dodger then?

Quartermaine: It’s not something I’m proud of.

Interviewer: Really? The last one I encountered seemed to enjoy it very much.

Quartermaine: That doesn’t surprise me because like I said;  I’m not a vampire. Vampires are slaves to their blood-lust and most give into it with abandon. They are fiends. Dhamphyrs are still part human, and most posses a modicum of empathy.

Interviewer: Well, I guess I don’t need to ask you how you really feel about them, the vampires that is.

Quartermaine: I’m not a fan, that’s for sure.

Interviewer: So what do you mean, you were ‘sort of’ turned? The last one I interviewed said vampires are at least given a choice.

Quartermaine:  . . .

Interviewer: What’s so funny?

Quartermaine: Well . . . not really. I mean, some of them may follow the vampire codes but only when it suits them.

Interviewer: Oh. So they still turn others against their will?

Quartermaine: In some cases , yes. I assume you interviewed Talcott Henderson?

Interviewer: Yes.

Quartermaine: He likes to wax romantic. His brethren frequently change those against their will, and thrall them too.

Interviewer: Thrall?

Quartermaine: Hypnotize.

Interviewer: That’s chilling. Can your kind thrall?

Quartermaine: No.

Interviewer: All right well, back to this turning business. How are dhamphyrs created?

Quartermaine:  . . .

Interviewer: Are you all right? Do you want that tissue?

Quartermaine: I’m fine. It’s not something I like to talk about.

Interviewer: . . . is it because it happened against your will?

Quartermaine: It was far worse than that.

Interviewer: Well, the readers are dying to know, Mr. Quartermaine.

Quartermaine: I’m sure my creator, who is a cruel mistress, will let them know in one of her upcoming books. My tragic backstory, set against the blood-soaked regne de la terreur, will be on display for all and sundry to pick clean with speculation and judgement, like vultures over a fresh kill.

Interviewer: Ha! Now tell us how you really feel.

Quartermaine: I best be leaving.

Interviewer: Oh no, wait, we still have several more minutes left on the clock and you prom –

Quartermaine: . . .

Interviewer: I am really tired of you people, vampire, dhamphy shmamphyrs and your bloody fangs.